Please Read this Piece:
My best friend Peyvand Mossavat is Iranian. As a consequence of my relationship and my inquisitiveness of the Persian culture I have known for many years that a few extraordinary Iranian citizens have sacrificed their lives through fire because of the appalling oppression they face.
In late August of 2019 I sent an email after being denied access to starve myself on Parliament Hill in Ottawa with accompanying signs and placards. I wrote. I would now light myself on fire in protest. It was not sarcasm. It was not a game. It preempted Sahar Khodayari's death and was not a copycat reaction. I was choked, shattered and breathless when I heard of her death a few days later.
FIFA's post corruption era reaction has been as good as it could possibly be under the agony of such awful circumstances.
I now officially request FIFA's Joyce Cook to please investigate the Paul J James matter.
Google the following: BBC Football Mental Health Prince William and review some of the articles. The maturity. The integrity. The care. The understanding. The compassion. The reaction to the Paul J James matter in Canada since 2008 has been the complete opposite. Abusive, oppressed, stigmatized, immoral, discriminatory, defamatory, slanderous. Absolutely appalling at each and every level. Most especially from York University and within the Canadian soccer industry, permitted through the governing body of soccer in Canada, Canada Soccer.
Visit www.confrontingthestigmaofdrugaddiction.com and read from January 2017 forward. Of course a lot of writing to read but without doing so you will remain willfully ignorant of the Paul J James matter. Your motivation to do so is to answer, how does a Canadian citizen get to the point he is willing to set his body on fire through the ultimate of sacrifices in seeking social justice, social change and accountability?
Like a solider at war, I am not suicidal. Never have I had thoughts of taking my life. I want to live. But I want to live as a Free person not oppressed in a nation and society so wealthy and advantaged over most others less fortunate, yet, so unethical, corrupt, immoral, spoiled and complacent with the treatment of the human rights of its citizens with exposed mental/substance health disabilities.
October 9, 2019 at 12.10am I concluded a payphone call with Canadian citizens from across Canada. Montreal, Vancouver, Victoria, Toronto, Laval and Southern Ontario.
Heroes. Staunch in their unconditional support. Non judgmental strong characters who understand the significance of living in a country which first and foremost cares about the health of its citizens. A country whose academic institutions are beacons of integrity and truth not deceit and immorality. Responsible academic organizations not the facilitators of hypocrisy. A nation whose Judiciary first and foremost cares about about justice of its individual citizens and not simply a Cadillac system where lawyers develop their careers and wealthy organizations resolve their disputes. A judiciary where seeking truth is Paramount not an impediment to the establishment class. A nation who finally grows up from the Bad Politic ethos of its culture where Machiavellian slyness rules and dominates over competence, truth, and maturity leading all often to organizational hierarchies of incompetence not hierarchies of competence.
It is hierarchies of incompetence and the appalling Machiavellian ethos of a nation which has led to such underachievement in so many areas of a nation and to Paul J James communicating his willingness to now set his body on fire. The absurdity of it ALL.
As alluded. The agonizing thought was first disseminated after my second walking trip to the nations capital from Toronto in less than 3 months. One thousand kilometers completed. I was ready to camp at Parliament Hill to protest through public starvation along with the display of signs and placards outlining the extreme social injustices persons exposed with mental/substance disabilities face. When this was denied through the Canadian Senate and the City of Ottawa including for the Labour Day Weekend the decision to communicate I would light my body on fire was automatic. It is what it is, to be so incrementally oppressed and for so long.
After months of thought on how to overcome the Canadian Establishment's - led by York University and Osgoode Law School - unrelenting insistence on ignoring the Paul J James matter, the decision was fermented and conditioned as a part of my mindset. One person (supporter) acted as if they were offended and tried to bully her thoughts so I would retract my mind to think differently. It didn't work. It was futile and the politics behind the approach glaring.
Mental Health Within Canada
Not wanting to bring up old wounds, yet necessary to do so. It is a little less than 6 years since a Toronto Police Officer riddled the body of an 18 year old boy struggling mental distress with 6 bullets - the consequence for which he received a paltry 6 year prison sentence for the assassination.
As anecdotal as it may be my observation of Toronto Police officers since has been positive as it is of the Ontario Provincial Police (OPP) and Ottawa Police.
The stigma of mental health however, remains as deep and cutting as before I opened up myself seeking assistance on 2008. Suicide incidents remain alarming, tragically, even within Canadian Police forces. We have 11 over dose deaths a day; a $51 billion dollar economic burden mostly stemming from untreated poor mental health; 11 suicides a day; increased gun violence; 35 thousand homeless; an expanding inequality gap confirmed through the non-existence social safety net for those burdened with poverty stricken conditions. An inequality gap where a disproportionate amount of "hard crime" emanates from. Yet Canadian Politicians say nothing. They remain mute. Or, as in the Paul J James matter they turn corrupt, stigmatizing and oppressive.
There is no greater illustration of how bad things are in Canada than the Paul J James story.
The absurdity of it. How so unnecessary it has all been. So appalling because it was such a retrievable circumstance. All York University/GOL TV and Canada Soccer needed to be was supportive, humane, moral, ethical and intelligent with how they dealt with the matter. None of the circumstances would have unfolded, only as a consequence of the inhumane recklessness have they been permitted to do so. I would still be a collegiate soccer coach. Very likely married to Ashley Kelly with perhaps a child and/or children. My Substance issue would have been relegated to fleeting and unnecessary. To have a varying opinion is to be deliberately undernourished in your readings. To be ignorant - willfully or pure or to be malevolent either politically motivated or out of need of non-accountability for your own errors and misdeeds.
For Paul J James as a Canadian citizen to feel the same "outraged urge" as Sahar Khodayari is not reflective of the mental health of Paul J James as ridiculed as that will be by those still malevolently insistent on oppression. Rather, it is reflective of the pathology and ugly side of of Canadian society. In particular, in the dealing with this matter and by association thousands of others, where Truth and accountability are trodden on by an embarrassing, unacceptable national Bad Politic ethos. This is clearly not York University's debut at treating former employees in such a reckless, corrupt, irresponsible way. A methodology they have been permitted to get away with for too long. However, they have raised the bar on impropriety in the Paul J James matter to such a level, they can now, no longer, remain unaccountable.
Once again. So that it is clear. I want to live. Always have. People who commit suicide do not want to live.
Giving up ones life as a consequence of the unwillingness of perpetrators of social injustice NOT accepting responsibility for their misdeeds and improprieties on a matters of such social national significance is not an act of suicide.
Both the Toronto Police and Ottawa Police forces have been in contact with Paul J James supporters. Apparently they have been so very respectful which is appreciated. I know if they track me down they will take me to an institution. In protest I will accept this.
In the mental institution they will ask:
"Mr James. How long have you been hearing voices telling you to take your life?"
My response will be truthful.
"I haven't been hearing voices telling me to take my life. I want to live"
"But Mr James, you have been writing emails stating you will be lightening your body on fire. Is that that true and how do you explain those comments. Is this another Ruse?"
My response will be truthful.
"It is true I have written and stated that I will do so if the Paul J James matter is not fully resolved through the delivery of fair social justice to the benefit of ALL Canadian citizens. It is not a Ruse similar to December 2018 when I set out to prove starvation was a legitimate form of social protest. The perpetrators of such injustice can have no complaints"
"Do you not worry about the pain of such a course of action Mr James?"
My response will be truthful.
"Of course. Very much so. I have anxiety and my body shivers at the thought. But I worry more about not following through on the action and not being as brave as Sahar. These latter thoughts permit me to condition my mindset to be tougher".
Under the circumstances Mr James. We will keep you here.
My response will be truthful.
"Well that is your decision to make which I contest on a human rights level. This is a Philosophical dilemma for ALL those in positions of authority and responsibility who are accountable for such injustice in this matter. And I am on hunger strike. And there is full national international attention in my doing so. Justice/Resolution has to be delivered in order that the Paul J James circumstance is never repeated. All I did in 2008 was to open up about my need for mental health assistance. My life has never been the same since. It has been mauled to pieces.
Paul J James