“Anatomy of an Absolute Nightmare”
If prejudice is an emotional commitment to ignorance as coined by the brilliant Jane Elliot famed for her blue eyes brown eyes exercise on racism then discrimination, prejudice, and abuse of a persons known poor mental health is an absolute commitment to EVIL.
Today, as a 53 year old man I remain homeless and penniless with nothing to my name except debt with no realistic opportunity to improve my circumstances without resolution, as I remain powerless to a brutal system of abuse. And all facilitated, by an incompetent lack of care and attention by federal and provincial governments, academic institutions, and legal system to the wellbeing of those who encounter substance addiction in their lives and the humane support they need, including staunch protection of a Canadian judiciary from prejudice and discrimination.
In 2017 Canada is paying a dreadful price for decades of neglect and incompetence in this regard.
The three social determinants of health and recovery are in order: employment/income; financial means for realistic treatment; and professional/social support. Translation in the Canadian system, if you are from a wealthy, connected, status background you can limit the damage of substance addiction, regain good health and continue on with your life as if nothing happened. If you are below this threshold, poor or average you have very little, to no chance. I am living breathing proof.
For the evil ignoramus’s out there and to those others who care but do not understand, watch the Jane Elliott BBC documentary on Youtube, substitute racism with substance addiction and then you have a starting point for understanding what it is like to be an exposed person of substance addiction. In most instances you are treated worse than pigs on a farm. You are demeaned, scapegoated, patronized, blamed for errors of others, outcasted and treated with such disrespect it defies morality.
Of course the Choice aspect is the elephant in the room when comparing racism and substance addiction. For the Dunce Cap Brigade in this regard, I say to you, smack your head against a concrete wall a few times to loosen up the cemented ignorant prejudices, bias’ and beliefs you have in the dysfunctional part of your brain then learn what the difference between impaired and rational decisions are and what a psychological disorder is. And if you still don't get it then at least know through attention to your own self-awareness, the rarest of all commodities, that you are at best a sociopath but more likely you suffer an extreme form of psychopathy. And in Canada we have plenty.
I could conform of course and accept my circumstances, live in social housing, receive disability payments as suggested by the Minister of Health department of the Liberal government; resign myself to a life of drudgery and for the rest of my life - as phrased by the brilliant Dr Tom McClellan from the University of Pennsylvania - remain, like so many who share my conditions, “so rightfully raged at those who taken such extreme advantage of your circumstances”. I would prefer not to exist than accept that reality and the non-accountability of the persons, organizations, and institutions who have inflicted such deliberate brutality onto my life of which York University top the list.
And no amount of psychotherapy will alter my stance on that reality.
Upon reflection there are four dreadful mistakes I have made over a lifetime. At number four is the unbearable, impaired decision to have ingested the substance crack cocaine into my system in 1998. An impaired decision brought upon by consumption of alcohol after a lifetime of extreme distress and isolation which I had great difficulty coping with. No different with so many who reach the diagnostic level. It is what it is to be human. For the first 6 years of use it was always the result of alcohol consumption. And then by 2006 it was a disorder, an ingrained impaired learned painful behaviour - like a broken clock. I no longer needed alcohol as a facilitator of use.
Mistake number three was to seek a diagnosis for a substance use disorder - an absolute catastrophic mistake which guarantees a lifetime of appalling judgement, prejudice and discrimination instead of help, support, and dignity. I could then be called an “addict”, an absolute brutal pejorative destructive label which permeates every level of the system. Yet for the betterment of our health care system we need persons suffering to come forward and be diagnosed. In short, based on my circumstances, it is suicide to do so.
Mistake number two was seeking help and support by opening up to people. It instantaneously eliminated any status I had. Like being hit with a lightning bolt and all the bones falling out of my body. It subjected me to further deepened self-stigma, shame and embarrassment and some dreadful treatment by rehab facilities and in particular persons I trusted. Once you open up you are completely powerless to the conditioned prejudicial, discriminatory actions of others and the repugnancy and cartwheeling evilness of any adversaries.
As an exaggeration but very relevant illustration nonetheless, peruse an episode of Auschwitz on Netflix - if you can stomach it - the gut wrenching sickening treatment of Jews by a Nazis nation at the time. How easy it was for the nation to be conditioned.
Then view through the New York Times articles and photos on what has happened in the Philippines and the random assassination and cull of persons who are substance dependent. The horror knows no bounds yet the oppressed nation have naively and poignantly bought into the crimes against humanity.
In Canada we have not reached that level of premeditated murder, instead we are much more subtle in exterminating persons in a passive-aggressive way. We are as sick and evil in many ways as the Philippines and the Paul James story categorically illustrates that fact through the behaviour of York University in my regard.
While racism still exists on a global basis, on a spectrum of 0-100, most societies have moved far along with progress against the oppression. LGBTQ and indigenous rights have also improved. Substance dependent persons meanwhile have no human rights. We are still at zero.
The following Ranking of 101 Stigmatizing Cuts which has caused unimaginable harm to my life and that of the beautiful person in body, mind, and soul Ashley Kelly, a former graduate of York University. The sickening treatment illustrates where we are at as nation in Canada perhaps best illustrated also by the gloating of many Canadians when the Indonesian government executed two Australians and a British citizen after they had already served 12 years in prison for drug smuggling, a result of pointless prohibition. Or how about the fireman who raced up a ladder to save the lives of three substance dependent persons from their burning house on Hastings Street in Vancouver only for the report in the newspaper the next day to read fireman bravely saves “fluffy’ the cat.
Combined with the breathtaking 101 Ranking of Stigmatizing Cuts and Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s willingness to let me die rather than hold those persons/organizations accountable for delivered injustice, they are a few of many reasons why I no longer can be a Canadian citizen; it is why I need my soccer hall of fame status to be annulled and in reality why also I, without resolution, will not exist as a person in a few weeks.
Observation notes to this list. It is 95% Caucasian highlighting a disgusting superiority complex of white people from the older age cohorts, where discrimination in all forms emanates and permeates. Meanwhile there are only a few persons from the more enlightened, humane and realistic Millennial age cohort.
The explanation portion of York University illustrates how other CUTS out of the remaining 100 will be formatted over the coming days.
Then finally, once this is complete, I will provide a list of De-Stigmatizing moments from a group of people far more humane and enlightened on the subject matter including some persons who have harmed me but corrected the mistake through making contact and resolution.
As destructive and negative as the Stigmatizing CUTS have been I have also discovered that responsibility from others is positive and empowering to someone like myself so highly stigmatized - as it would be for millions of others.
Therefore, if any one on the 101 Stigmatizing CUTS would like to discuss their inclusion in order to resolve the matter then feel free to make contact. If conversation is positive you may be eliminated from the list.
Of course you have limited time.
Ranking 101 Stigmatizing Cuts
1. York University Board of Governors
Mistake number one in my life was being employed at York University. I could never have imagined the unethical, immoral decisions that have been made in my regard by the institution especially after what had been achieved during my tenure with them. To have not resolved the matter back in 2011, 12, 13, 15 and 16 typifies the hopelessness of being an exposed person of addiction and the disgracefulness of a Canadian academic institution.
From deceit, manipulation, to blaming the victim, to conflict of interests to controlling the media, to cheating on the York soccer schedules, to defamation and slander of my name, to putting our Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Canada in such a vulnerable position after a wonderful career, amongst plenty more, York University have harmed my well being and that of Ashley Kelly at every turn.
I did no harm to anyone at the institution when I was employed there. On the contrary, I did so much for so many while giving my heart and soul to the school and soccer program.
Of particular humiliation was the decision in 2012, when given the opportunity to settle/resolve the matter in private, which would have given me the opportunity to have regained my life, well being and health, they abhorrently declined knowing the system would protect them from the no matter the level of impropriety they would present.
And the institution started right away by stating they knew nothing of my poor mental health then immediately hired Clara Hughes to give a keynote address on the subject matter at the fall 2012 convocation and awarded her an honorary PHD at the same time to give the impression they were on the cutting edge of caring about Canadians poor mental health. If they did in fact care about mental health, then, how on earth, knowing my life, and their errors in my regard, do they justify putting my partner Ashley Kelly a graduate of York, my sister, my mother and father and myself through the horrific nightmare for the past 6 years. In their “wisdom” they decided to hire the ruthlessness of McCarthy Tetrault. There can never, ever be justification for this.
These decisions like the Canadian government to not intervene to resolve the matter fairly over the past 6 months defies morality and humanity and exposes York University’s lack of any respectable values in my regard.
One hundred deep cuts and scars from York University alone.
2. Malcolm Mercer (General Secretary McCarthy Tetrault - York Law Faculty)
3. Justin Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada
4. President Shoukri (York University Past President)
5. Rick Waugh (York University - Chairman Board of Governors)
6. Harriet Lewis (York University Past General Secretary)
7. Maureen Armstrong (York University Current General Secretary)
8. Jenn Myers (York University Athletic Director)
9. Sheila Forshaw (York University Board of Governor)
10. Lisa Constantine (formerly of McCarthy Tetrault)
11. Paul Aterman (HRTO Adjudicator)
12. Human Rights Tribunal of Ontario
13. Justice Edwards Divisional Court of Ontario
14. Justice Eileen Gillese Ontario Court of Appeal
15. Chief Justice Beverly McLachlin SCC
16. Pascal Leblanc (Supreme Court of Canada Registrar Administrator)
17. Dwight Hornibrook
18. Chris Hornibrook
19. Jamie Teixeira
20. Bree Carr-Harris
21. Jamaal Smith (former York player)
22. Graham Brown (President CIS)
23. Gillian McCullough (York University)
24. Rob Tiffin
25. Nick Bontis (CSA Vice President)
26. *Pat Santini (CSA Legal Counsel)
27. Victor Montagliani
28. John Pugh
29. CSA Board of Directors
30. Tristan Hopper (National Post)
31. Anne Marie Owens (National Post)
32. Jonathan Odumeru (McCarthy Tetrault)
33. Sheldon Parchment (CAMH)
34. Catharine Zahn (CAMH)
35. Lee Godfrey (GOL TV)
36. Corey Russell (Gol TV)
37. Chris Hebb (MLSE)
38. Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment
39. Anthony Totera (OSA TV)
40. Jason Devos (CSA)
41. Terry Dunfield (TSN)
42. Dwayne DeRosario
43. John Molinaro (Sportsnet)
44. Richard Whittall
45 Gregor Young
46. Benjamin Massey
47. David Norman (TSN)
48. James Sharman (Sportsnet)
49. Joe Ross (TheScore Media)
50. Toby Young (HRLSC)
51. Brenda Culbert (HRLSC)
52. Naomi Calla (BLG)
53. Chris Keem
54. Mooredale Soccer Club
55. Deborah Schulte MP Liberal
56. James Maloney MP Liberal
57. HRTO Adjudicator James vs Mooredale claim
58. Michael Redmond NDP
59. Tess Sheldon (ARCH)
60. Barry Swadron (Swadron Associates)
61. Sarit Batner (McCarthy Tetrault)
62. Scott Weinberg
63. Richard Elliott (Aids Law)
64. Alexandra Sienkiewicz (CBC)
65. Sonja Cori Missio
66. Ministry of Health
67. Kim Mathoney (York University)
68. Excalibur Newspaper (York University)
69. Keith Mason (University of Guelph)
70. Randy Ragan
71. Peter Mackie (University of Waterloo)
72. Dave McDowall (Queens University)
73. OUA West Women's Soccer Coaches 2015
74. Oakville Soccer Club
75. Peter Gillfillan (President monster.com)
76. Colin Miller
77. Erin Mills Soccer Club
78. Alan Errington
79 . Ajax Soccer Club
80. INC Research
81. Rosie DiManno
82. Johnson and Sons Oyster House
83. Stefani Vescio
84. John Tory, Mayor of Toronto
85. Simon Vaughan
86. Tony Taylor
87. John Vanderkolk
88. Voyageurs Soccer Forum
89. Michael Landsberg
90. Ben Rycroft (OSA)
91. Stephen Hart (former CSA World Cup coach)
92. Andrew Oliveri
93. “Karan Howell”
94. John Hendricks (President Cherry Beach Soccer Club)
95. Covenant House
96. Conservative Party
97. Raj Sohi (CAMH)
98. Marjorie Booth (Mooredale Soccer Club)
99. Joe Cressy Toronto Counsellor
100. *Tom Panhuysen
101. *Mark Purdy
* connotes also included on De-stigmatizing persons and moments